A Tribute To My Tatay

I am re-posting this entry I made on Father's Day 2006 with some updates, to honor my dear father on this special occasion. He will also celebrate his 75th birthday on September 15th. I am blessed to have both my parents still alive up to this day and they will also celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary on August 21st. These are the reasons for my trip to the Philippines in August.

* * *

He’s the disciplinarian in the family. When we were little we used to fear him a lot because he was very strict when it comes to coming home straight from school; doing our homework instead of playing with friends in the street; helping in the household chores and hanging out with the right friends. But as naughty as young children are, we always found a way to sneak out to play with our friends, and then if somebody signals that he/she sees my father at the end of the street coming home from work, we would hurriedly run home as fast as we could so we would not be scolded.

Since Tatay (Tagalog term for father) was always out of the house most of the days for work, we were closer to Nanay (Tagalog term for mother). If we ask for something that Tatay didn’t approve of, Nanay would always come to our rescue and she would negotiate with Tatay till he gives in. So as tough as Tatay would look like on the outside he was very soft when it comes to our childish little wishes.



When Tatay retired from work and stayed home a lot, he ran errands for everybody. He was very protective of his 'girls', he would rather go out to get anything from the store than letting us do it. I couldn’t imagine Tatay would do household chores, but he became a homebody cooking our meals and yes, he’s a great cook, his specialties include Kaldereta (a spicy Filipino stew which normally uses goat’s meat, chicken or beef), Kare-Kare (another kind of stew with a nutty sauce served with a variety of vegetables) and Dinuguan (another kind of stew made from pig’s blood and meat). Since Nanay was the one getting all the ingredients in the market, Tatay was not aware of how much an ingredient costs so he would put a lot in a dish which makes it really taste delicious. So sometimes they would get into argument when Tanay starts looking for an ingredient she just bought and realized it was all gone.

Another thing I admire about Tatay is it's so easy to please him, he takes anything I give him with a big smile on his face, even how simple and plain it would be. If I ask him what he wants he would always say it’s up to me. He’s so grateful with just anything I give him, not very picky and doesn’t want to burden me. He likes to exercise a lot, he breeze walks every morning with Nanay, he also lifts weights and he’s got at least 2 exercise machines in the house.

But Tatay can be stubborn sometimes, especially when it comes to going to a doctor. There are things that Nanay can’t convince him of doing and she would always come to me for help to talk to him. More often than not, he would listen to me, I have a way with him. He’s the kind of person who doesn’t complain even if he feels something’s wrong with him, one reason is he’s scared to see a doctor and another thing is he doesn’t want to burden us with medical bills.

Three years ago when I left for US I had a vivid memory of Tatay having a very firm body. But since he loves to cook especially fatty dishes, he also loves to eat and drink beer. One time they sent me pictures in the mail and I noticed how skinny and old he became in only a span of three years. I got so worried and became anxious to get home to know what’s going on. In March of this year, I really went home for the main reason of having them checked-up. I confined them for a day in a hospital for an executive check-up and all the works. It took a while to convince Tatay to do it though. It was a blessing in disguise that I went home when I did because Tatay was diagnosed to have clogged arteries. He was put on medication and he was advised to avoid fatty food and alcohol. He took a 180 degrees turn around to a completely new lifestyle, in terms of eating habits which did him good.

Three years to this day, at least once a week I always call Tatay to know how he’s doing. Sometimes, I would just ask him for a recipe. I am like a ‘mom’ to Tatay now, scolding him when he misses his medicine or always reminding him to stay away from fatty food and beer. He’s doing great if I may say so because he listens to me. No matter how far I am from tatay, I will forever be Tatay’s little girl. Happy Father's Day Tatay and my dad-in-law, and of course to my honey bunch (hb) and to all the fathers in the world!

Updates: We were in the Philippines on June 2007 for a three week vacation. I thought Tatay looked really old and frail. It took a while for me to get used to the way Tatay and Nanay looked. I still have that vivid memory of how they were when I left for US in 2003. My brother always tells me not to worry too much, as they are just getting old and of course their looks and body will change.

But on November 2007 I received an urgent call that Tatay was in the hospital because he had a stroke. He was by himself in our house in Cavite as Nanay was at my sister's house in Mandaluyong looking after my niece. My sister used to travel a lot for work so Nanay was with them all the time even when she's got a helper. Like I said Tatay always exercised and walked every morning. And that eventful morning, our neighbors who were walking too saw him holding his chest and struggling for breath. They helped him and brought him to the ER of the nearest hospital. They were angels sent from heavens because due to their quick thinking, there was no damage to Tatay's brain. Only his mobility was slightly affected. I thank God for great neighbors! With medication and therapy Tatay is back to normal again. I can't wait to see him and Nanay when we visit in August.